Occupational PTSD

 I currently work for a company in its death throes. The entire engineering dept, save for me, has quit or retired and none have been replaced. Every day I trudge into work steeling myself, waiting to be assaulted by accusations of incompetence, laziness, and poor work ethic. The state of the job market is the only thing keeping me working here still.  Every morning upon entering the building my bowels flinch and my stomach churns. I feel like I’m under assault. Constantly. Every. Single. Day. I had a coworker a while ago who coined a phrase,”Give-a-Shittedness Quotient” to describe the amount of concern an employ had remaining for providing a job well done. Short-timers about to retire famously struggle to give any more shits. A person who has submitted their 2-weeks notice similarly will phone it in. High School seniors, already accepted to university - pending successful graduation - famously suffer from senioritis. I am not in those situations yet I find myself struggling to give a shit. I struggle to drag myself to work. No one knows what I do or why. No one cares if I do well or not. To the contrary, everyone seems to default to me struggling to keep up for some unknown reason. Nevermind that I fill two different positions, each a distinct title that would ordinarily be a full time job by itself. In my engineer role. I am all that remains of a 5-person department. In my department manager role, my department has been cut in half, MORE THAN DECIMATED.   I can’t imagine why I, or my department, might be struggling to keep up.  I explain all this so it might be understood when I say I have Occupational PTSD, self-diagnosed of course. I have trouble sleeping, eating, my temper is short and I fear I’m harming close relationships because my fight/flight response has been on high-alert for months. I’m applying for jobs only tangentially related to my training or experience, willingly accepting 20-30% pay cuts if necessary…but the local job market is so broken there’s almost nothing even close to what I need.